KINK 101

6 Things All BDSM Beginners Should Know

It’s only fun to make an ass out of yourself if that’s your fetish.

Photo by Eclipse Images. Image Licensed by Canva.

A couple of weeks ago, I asked members of my community what they wanted to know about sex. I was giddy to receive an influx of BDSM inquiries.

For the last decade, I’ve been involved in all things kink. I was a professional submissive for Kink University, the education division of Kink.Com. I wrote my thesis on this BDSM porno (and visited the set to watch it get made!). Eventually, I even trained to be a Dominatrix in San Francisco and Los Angeles.

As I began to answer questions, though, I ran into a bit of a problem.

Kink, like any subculture, has its own etiquette and language. While answering questions, I realized I was using cultural terms that the average Josephine might not know about.

So, before I answer questions like “what’s the average day of a Dominatrix” I thought I’d boil down the six most common things I see in kink-culture.

It is my goal that this knowledge empowers you and helps you feel welcome in the juicy, leathery world of BDSM.

(1) The Subtle Difference Between a “Scene” and “Playing”