My 10 Desert Island TV Shows
I continue to have amazing taste
My pal Buddy Gott gave his publication Plethora of Pop a writing prompt, what are your desert island movies? If you know that possibly for the rest of your days, you will only be able to watch these 10 films, what would you choose? I wrote that prompt and then thought what about TV and books? I then decided that those lists were of extreme importance as well, so here it is — my 10 desert island TV shows.
Once again, what is this scenario? I am assuming I have clumsily fallen off of a cruise ship. I’m not a big drinker, but Princess Cruises was offering free drinks, I had two, and while trying to take a photo of the sunset and tag it #blessed on my social media I fell overboard, still clutching my cell phone, which is attached to my weatherproof solar operated battery pack. The universe feels that punishing me for my would-be basic ass post should not go as far as killing me, so instead I gently am washed ashore, now living on my lonely desert island. I shake my fists, cursing the seas, Davy Jones, and pina coladas. As I shake my fists I notice I am still clutching my phone, I sit in the sand and begin playing one of my downloaded TV shows. I had refused to pay for onboard WiFi, so I downloaded 10 movies, 10 TV shows, and 10 books. You can check my list of movies here, and subscribe to my profile to see when I publish what the 10 books would be.
Here’s my thought process on the shows I pick, these won’t necessarily be my absolute favorite shows, but shows that have longevity. I want seasons baby! Do I think Yellowjackets is phenomenal? Yes. Will only three seasons of TV do me any good for longer than a day? No. Would Yellowjackets, a show about young women lost in the Canadian wilderness trying to survive via cannibalism be a hilarious and twisted pick? Again, yes. (Note: Watch Yellowjackets.) However, it does not meet my criteria: At least 3 seasons, hour-long episodes or double the seasons necessary, and must have serious re-watch value. Here we go.
1. Bob’s Burgers
Bob’s Burgers is one of my favorite TV shows. I watched it on repeat when I discovered it in 2020, oddly I had a lot of free time that year. By October of 2020, I was Tina Belcher for Halloween, no, I couldn’t go out, but I laughed my ass off the entirety of the day, walking around in my apartment quoting Tina by saying “My crotch is itchy” or “Do you think horses get songs stuck in their head?”. There are currently 15 seasons, so the show certainly meets my criteria. Bob’s Burgers is an animated series on Fox that follows the Belcher family as they attempt to keep the lights on while running a burger joint near the Wharf in Seymour’s Bay, New Jersey. The family is made up of the patriarch Bob, the matriarch Linda, the oldest daughter Tina, the middle child Gene, and lastly the youngest Louise. This show is fantastic, it brings me so much joy. Every single episode has a few wonderful little gems for fans and rewatches. The opening credits scene has an exterminator van pull up to the restaurant, and every episode has a new punny exterminator company name, as well as a new name for the business next door to the restaurant. The “Burger of the Day” board has a new burger every episode, giving me more to notice and pay attention to while I ignore the fact that I now live on a deserted island.
2. Gilmore Girls
This show has so much rewatch value that after it was off the air for over a decade the town that was the prototype for Stars Hollow put on an entire Gilmore Girls weekend of show-related events. I couldn’t make it out to Connecticut, but I wanted to with all my heart. I started watching this show when I was younger than Rory(Alexis Bledel) and I am now just a few months shy of Lorelai’s(Lauren Graham) age at the beginning of the show. Gilmore Girls made me want to live on the East Coast, and I still harbor a deep love for inns and writing. One day I’ll own my own Inn and I’ll write (and be paid) and live out my Gilmore dreams, if only I had a trust fund to fall back on like the Gilmores do. This show will bring me comfort and happiness during my time in exile, even if it’s for 40 minutes at a time.
3. Friends
I watched Friends every single day of my life from the time it came out until I turned about twenty-one. I loved this show. Now I look back on some of the bits and think about just how unfunny it can be. I know it’s a show that’s a product of its time, but in recent years I have felt a bit of guilt for having laughed at things that weren’t necessarily funny. I think it’s okay to continue to love things that are a little problematic, as long as we don’t ignore or perpetuate what the problems are. I would have plenty of time to think about all of this while on my accidental island “retreat”. I haven’t been able to watch this show since Matthew Perry passed, but I think, in the darkness of my desert island experience, nothing would bring me more joy than the nostalgia and comfort of this show. Never mind, being rescued would be the best thing, and adequate food and water would be second best, so Friends would be third place, which isn’t too shabby.
4. Modern Family
I enjoyed this show when it first came out and then picked it back up a few years down the line while it was still on air. It was a revelation to have an openly gay couple in a family-friendly sitcom, this was pre-legal gay marriage y’all! I love watching the children of all of the families grow up, find who they were, and become adults themselves. I love that this truly is the modern-day dream family, it was multicultural, multi-racial, and realistic enough to feel like a possibility for upper-middle-class families. I watch this show and feel a familiar warmth from the characters. The comedy is gentle, the family is comfortable, and there are 11 seasons to entertain me before I am rescued.
5. House M.D.
House is an asshole, he’s not even an anti-hero, he’s just a sarcastic, narcissistic, drug-addicted, bully. He is, however, entertaining. He’s incredibly smart, he’s a specialist in “diagnostic” medicine, a field that does not exist, and his propensity for pranks and games does add a certain charm. This show has 7 seasons, which meets my criteria. Did you know that House M.D. is considered the most scientifically accurate medical drama? I think that knowledge would come in handy for someone who may need medical assistance and won’t have a GP to visit. The diagnoses are wild, and the treatments are obscure, which means my medical mindset would allow me to creatively solve whatever medical issues arose. Though I do think the biggest issue would be my lack of ADHD medication. I could also take solace in not having many of the ailments that appear on their show, sure I’m sunkissed and hungry, but at least I don’t have lupus… never mind, it’s never lupus.
6. It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Sunny is a ridiculous show. It’s a concept built around the worst type of people around. They’re all delusional losers convinced they are the most important people around. The gang gets into some of the most absurd shenanigans, like getting stuck in the sewers on their way to a movie, being held hostage by their high school rivals, or all quarantining during a particularly difficult flu season only to fall ill one by one until they realize it’s not the flu, it’s the DT’s. They run an incredibly unsuccessful bar in Philly, are constantly getting into fights with themselves and others, and in general just suck, but in a really funny way. This show would make me giggle in my exile all while making me miss civilization a little less, because damn, these people are terrible.
7. The West Wing
I have never seen this show. The West Wing is a show that I would like to watch, but never seem to make time for it. It has 7 seasons and 155 episodes. I think having a show on the island that I have never seen would be so fun. What am I going to put off starting this show by doing? I would finally have time for this West Wing staffers’ drama, which I’ve heard is excellent and has an IMDB overall score of 8.9. I can’t add much more, but I think a fresh show while I’m on the island could be incredibly helpful. What if I save it and do an episode a day? That would give me almost half a year’s worth of entertainment, I just hope I get rescued before then.
8. Taskmaster (UK)
Taskmaster is a reality competition show that stars 5 comedians/celebrity personalities battling it out with various tasks to become the season Taskmaster. The points are given out by the Taskmaster himself Greg Davies, who is a fantastic comic in his own right. The Taskmaster is assisted by the show creator/court jester Alex Horne. The show is silly, fun, and enjoyable. I can almost guarantee I would recreate some tasks on the island and race against my best pal, a lizard, to pass the days.
9. Doctor Who
Doctor Who is another show I haven’t really watched. I saw a few episodes and the graphics annoyed me, plus I was completely lost on the lore so I had no idea what was going on. I know this is a fan-favorite show, and I am an absolute nerd, so this show should be right up my alley. I think in my island solitude this show would finally get enough time and attention for me to get really into all 174 current episodes. I don’t know much, but I know that the David Tennent Doctor will be my favorite, that man just has charm. I need that kind of charm in my life while I’m fighting the elements for survival.
10. Ted Lasso
I had to have one show that didn’t meet the criteria, and that show is Ted Lasso. Ted Lasso is the eponymous show about an American football coach who, while going through a separation and subsequent divorce, decides to take a job coaching football (soccer) in the UK. Ted is a beacon of positivity and a wealth of support and light for his new team. There is some darkness, but it is always worked out maturely and reasonably. This show embodies the principle of “what would happen if characters just communicated during a problem”. This is a staunch opposite to many television shows, where the problem could almost always be solved by a simple conversation, but always ends up as a ridiculous dramatic subplot. This show made me smile so much and feel so happy that I know it’s the energy I would need to keep my spirits up as I wither away on this island. I would run around yelling “Football is life!”, and I would use palm leaves to write “Believe” on the sand and I would smack it every day to remind myself to believe I will be rescued. I love this show so much that I believe I will name my pet/best friend lizard “Ted”.
Bonus: Lost
I have never truly watched Lost, but I think watching a show of people on a deserted island while I too am on a deserted island is hilarious and twisted, and judging by how dramatic the trailer is may make me feel better about my solitude. I hope they would also show me some excellent survival tricks and tips, or maybe I should have chosen Survivor for that.
What about you? What are your desert island TV show picks? I think I’ll do books next, I want the best desert island experience possible.
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