Addressing the Racist History of our Country begins with Relationship and Aloha
In a polarized world facing compounding societal crises, organizational leaders must start talking about things that matter.
On Wednesday night, my husband, Jeremy, facilitated training in Stanwood, WA, on colonization and its continual impact on people of color today. His audience was white women.
If you are not familiar with the recent events of Stanwood, last week, football players from Stanwood High School were placed under investigation for alleged racist taunts against another football team.
Here’s the link to the story.
As Jeremy spoke about the origins of colonization, the invention of whiteness, and the foundational consequences of the systems put into place to continue the oppression and suppression of people who look like me, the crowd became silent.
Being the only woman of color in the room, I could feel the sudden energy shift. If I were not aware of the somatic response that I was experiencing and the relationship that we began to build with this group 2-month ago, I would have taken the shift in energy as one of guilt and shame.
But, because of our relationship, I would label the change in energy as the feeling of stepping into an awareness-unawareness — the awkward space between knowing, not knowing, and choosing not to know. The sense of, “Damn, my responsibility is being called into question,” and “I need to take accountability for the benefits of remaining complicit in the face of injustice.”
I could see how coming to terms with the truth about our racist systems and how these white women comfortably navigated them all their lives made them feel uncomfortable, but this tension of uneasiness was necessary. It required each of them to be vulnerable, ask questions, even if it made them feel stupid or hard to answer, and continue to engage in these conversations about race that would send many running to the hills.
They understood that they could not rely on “the powers that be” to make the changes needed for a more equitable world- it all began with each of them. The conversations that will create anti-racist organizations, institutions, and communities must start in their homes, workplaces, schools, and community forums.
Most of them remained after our time ended, sharing their thoughts and expressing that they were struggling with the information Jeremy had just shared. He held their feet to the fire, and instead of coddling their discomfort, he reminded them to practice aloha, the grace and compassion for themselves as they grow and learn to lean into discomfort.
I was uncomfortable as I witnessed how each person struggled with feedback loops of change. They shifted and squirmed in their seats. But, I knew it was part of the transformation process, which was an honor to witness.
Change is inevitable, and although some may believe that change hurts, it doesn’t. What hurts is the resistance to change.
About the Author
Dr. Gerry Ebalaroza-Tunnell is the Principal Consultant and CEO of Co3 Consulting: Co-Creating Cohesive Communities. The work of Co3 Consulting is based on the foundation of ALOHA and utilizes a unique blend of Indigenous philosophies and Western methods to work through decolonial healing processes.
Dr. Ebalaroza-Tunnell assists and guides organizations and institutions in developing meaningful land acknowledgments by taking leadership and staff through a process of decolonization while simultaneously defining and building a positive relationship with local Tribal members. This includes but is not limited to deepening the understanding of settler colonialism, whiteness, and allyship.
Dr. Gerry Ebalaroza-Tunnell (she/her/wahine) identifies as an Indigenous scholar born and raised on the island of O’ahu, Hawaii, and has over 20 years of experience working in public, private, and non-profit sectors with a focus on social justice, community organizing, and leadership development. Dr. G earned her doctorate in Transformative Studies and Consciousness from the California Institute of Integral Studies and her master’s in Whole Systems Design from Antioch University, Seattle. You can learn more about her work at www.Co3Consulting.net and www.EvolutionOfAloha.com
