I sit on the cold hard table, 
naked, exposed
They mumble.
They surround me.

Some touch me. Some scrap me.
They look into my eyes as I look into their device
They mumble to each other.

They point. 
They stare
They leave. 
They come back.
They talk.
They strategize.

3 months
Now 6 months
Now 12 months
2 years?
3? 5?

I stare into their eyes and I see
What I’ve felt inside

The questioning 
The unknown
The emptiness.
The hopelessness.
The helplessness.

I’m stranded on an island of suffering
Their eyes reflect what is in mine
They shrug their shoulders
“I don’t know” leaves their lips
Silence spans the ocean between us

I leave

In 2013, I got sick, was forced to see 98 different doctors and have since struggled over the last three years to regain my health. I’m a retired perfectionist who is opening up the honest feelings and stories of my flawed past (and present) for others to read in my publication, Fighting with the Shadows of Hell.

Right now I am in grad school to become a couples (maybe sex) therapist to help others overcome issues I have dealt with or helped others so far. I’m no expert, but if you’d love some tips to have healthier relationship, check out my personal site here.