A Dream Deferred
You said you wouldn’t upset me
On account of my vital instability
But then lost your cool and cut me off
When I had only wanted to talk
You say I’m playing the victim card
But you’ve never had to fight this hard
Whatever may come, I’ll be resilient
And make the most of the hand I’m dealt
At the end of the day,
You didn’t have what it takes
To be honest, I don’t blame you
Some people aren’t built that way
As for me, I didn’t have a choice
Toughen up or get utterly destroyed
Maybe my pain makes me difficult
But you’ve no idea what I’ve endured
At the hands of those I care for
While being equally inured
But that’s just what we do
Stick around through it all
Through any hour, weather, or season
Through every slip, injury, and fall
When I looked to you for a kind word,
You said my feelings were absurd
“It may sound absurd but don’t be naïve
Even heroes have the right to bleed”
Given the distance, I see things differently
So many misunderstandings
Were just projected insecurity
No matter what you think of me
I’ll love you unconditionally
I warned you, don’t make promises you can’t keep
While your knowledge is still incomplete
But you remained naïve in your belief
That love could conquer anything
Maybe you dodged a bullet
A loaded ill complex, cock it and pull it
Now you know why I wouldn’t commit
Knowing full well you couldn’t handle it
I figured you’d give up much too easily
Or else only grow to resent me
I was a second-class citizen in an ableist society
But I still believed you would see me
You said, ‘Less perfection, more authenticity’
But lacked a certain sensitivity
You wanted the fantasy
But couldn’t stand reality
You only loved me
Because I was shiny
And jumped ship
At the first sign of ugly
Little by little I let the dream die
The pain sets in and I don’t cry
I only feel gravity and I wonder why
