My 7month old has super strength!
As an avid reader and writer of fiction I’ve often imagined having super strength. This ability to perform great feats like lifting cars or stopping a speeding train with my own hands. But nothing, and I mean nothing compares to the strength of an infant/toddler that does NOT want you to wipe their face.
I’ve had the pleasure of knowing my son for the last 7 months and he has taught me a lot. This recent lesson is that we as infants are imbued with superhuman strength and speed that is only inhibited by further cognitive development. Basically just because he isn’t fully aware yet his strength and speed he’s a dynamo incarnate. He would make Superman and The Flash proud! He can’t say “No!” Yet but he sure as hell can with his body language. About a month ago we suffered his first ever cold. It wasn’t severe or anything, but it was enough to ramp up mucus production and drainage.
Okay, we’re two rational adults with biology degrees surely his mother and I can handle this situation. We run down the list of things to do for a baby who has a cold:
- Give him plenty of fluids
- Give him Tylenol if he has a fever.
- Let him rest as much as he wants to
- Keep him clean so he isn’t aggravated by a dirty diaper.
- Wipe his nose.
- get punched in the face by his resistance
- confidently approach him to suction his nose
- Take a haymaker to the nose for trying to suction his nose.
- tag team the child WWE style and successfully suction his nose
- Learn that child’s neck strength and ability to turn his head alone puts all your years of weight lifting to shame.
- wipe nose again.
- take super sonic ear piercing screams of rage for touching his face as well as a Bruce Lee level Jeet Kune Do combo.
Yeah all the normal stuff right. Needless to say this kid has always been strong. Even to this day he’s already pulling up on us and everything around flexing his muscles. He’s crawling around and now when he’s outside of his playpen he likes to push it around. The kid has strength and not to toot my own horn, I say he gets it from me.
I love being a father, but I wasn’t prepared to face off with a superhero daily whilst raising my son. Good luck to you other parents!
- Poetic Ice
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