2017: Day 3

Pangs

Why does love make you feel sick to your stomach
Worse than hunger pangs
Gnawing
Cravings that can’t be satisfied
Malnourishment enveloped in insecurities and vulnerability
My longing heart yearns to be quenched
Aching with desire to drink from his source

— Travina Springer

OK With Headache

“Allah wants you to take joy in your gifts. He didn’t give them to you to cause sorrow.” The Doctor always advised me not to worry about becoming arrogant or to be embarrassed when I did something great. He told me that even though empathy has caused some problems in my life, that it also allowed me to accomplish those great things. How much time do you spend thinking about all the great things you’ve done? Is it as much as you spend thinking about your mistakes?

— Serena Lin

Heat

By noon, my breath is
damp. Hours thick in rain. The month
still handsome and young.

— Sahar Romani

Split

Sometimes the ice is thin and yet I walk.
i feel it start to give, while i continue.
i talk to myself in positive tones
trying to paint a beautiful picture of this disaster
i stand upon.

spiderweb cracks begin to form beneath my feet,
truly wonderful designs,nature is a beautiful canvas,

i’d reflect upon how gorgeous split ice is,
if it wasn’t my foundation that was being torn.

Why do I continue? Why do I do this?

I know comparison is the thief of happiness.

I am aware of the danger of trying to find validation outside.

I know true love must start from within.

and yet i find myself once again,
precariously balancing on the edge of insecurity

feet slipping on fragile glass surfaces of self-doubt.

I know the way out. To shift my focus
fortify the walls of my self-worth.
dig down deep, and shed the locust of worry
the continues impetus to be a pleaser,
to put other’s needs first.
to say yes,
when i want to say no

i know what path these habits
this pattern of thought
of emotions of being
lead me down.

why do i keep walking?

I’m laying awake trying to fall asleep,
just after suhoor.
and i realize i’m praying.
wordlessly seeking.
asking for the gift of guidance.

It comes to me.
The recognition that I have a choice.
I have internal power to decide.
I go inside,
and my strength is found.
and in an instant
the ice disappears
and i’m back on solid ground.

— Tom Earl

Laugh

I Self Lord And Master

I Fast And Feel

Deep In The Anger

I Hope To Last To Please

Allah

From Here

To The After Life

After Tonight

I Will Eat And Remember

What It Was Like To Be

Uncivilized

I Still Am

But Today

I Will Strive Just To Hear

Allah’s Laughter

— Joshua Elijah