I was nineteen the first time

Adrenaline explodes: he calls
my name firmly.
My body responds — a reflex
to his beckoning voice.

The warm tingle
like ants skating figure eights
on my skin. I sink to the center
of the earth — engulfed in fire,
coming out on the other side,
unharmed, pacified.

His hair: slick, shiny.
I want to run my fingers
through it as his face
nears mine. I want to
tear it out strand by strand
as he adjusts his tools
for entry — because I know
the first prick will be hard,
stinging. I recoil in fear,
but the drug takes hold
and I am h i g h.

My eyes are glass moons
orbiting my head:
Detached from
my body, he works
his magic healing.
His soothing touch:

Oh! how I needed that
for so long. Tremendous
pressure, vibratory drilling,
surrender of control!

It comes like a volcano,
and goes even quicker
until I am no longer floating
over my body like
a departed spirit, waiting
for reentry or relief.

I come to in the dentist’s chair,
gliding tongue
along newly filled teeth.