How Free Is Your Heart?
When I was a little girl, fear frightened me. He took away my heart. I couldn’t stop him. Living without a heart, there is no happiness. Oh, there were moments, and they were wonderful. I brought them back into the abyss. Squirreled them away, like secret treasures. Guarded them with my life.
When I grew up, I tried to get it back from him (the heart that fear had stolen.) I thought it would be so beautiful, to feel again. Finally released, I thought I could be free. The heart that fear gave back to me was damaged. Too atrophied to trust. Too crippled for adventure. It did its job, but worked without enthusiasm.
When I was a little girl, I saw a book whose title seared my soul: “The Heart Is A Lonely Hunter.” (When I was old enough, I read it.) My heart was lonely, and to this day, she is a hunter.
She sits in the field, by the stream, at the edge of the woods and waits. She has learned to be patient. The animals have taught her how to trust. The grip of fear has loosened, and the heart is free to love.
LBM 1/31/08
