Cow in a Basement Poem

They found a cow in the basement

up to its neck in old newspaper.

He’s going to make a full recovery,

ovaries were shot though.

I didn’t smash the like button on the video;

I’m trying to get it taken down.

It’s antisocial not to be enthused

like Anne of Green Gables seizuring in

a field of mostly off-tint lichens.

They found a parrot in the basement

with one leg missing, no explanation.

A kid is making her a Lego prosthetic,

a fluff piece with no controversy.

I didn’t smash the like button;

I will report your ass.

My uncle is Bill Gates, or is it a NASA

engineer in a pencil skirt

with an Aspirin between her knees?