Crash Course Poem

He was in charge of this crash course on lying;
it met on Monday nights at 10:30 p.m.
just to weed out bad applicants.
He took the whole day off to prepare.

He had the “raised-eyebrow” brand of authority,
and there were lots of rumors:
Marilyn Manson removed his own ribs, etc.
The weeds in his lawn are unique
and protected by the George Catlin society.

His aside stories were scandalous,
which let everyone know he had a life before
he got into saving the planet alongside Ted Turner
and his endless buffalo and animated minorities.