Goalie Poem

I may have mentioned before that goalie
that got bondaged on the field.
It was barely OK for budding players to see
during the middle of the day on TV.
They zoomed in on him picking grass from his teeth
while the other end of the exchange
was faux humping the corner stick
and some idiots took out their real emotions
by throwing bananas at him,
but he just took the whole in stride,
scarfing it down and tossing the peels
away in the appropriate receptacle,
just to make sure the hardworking people
at the recycling center didn’t have to waste any time.

It was like when the guy with a million effing dollars
shows up to a press conference
with a two-dollar haircut for a seventh-grader
and a cardboard-looking button-up from Old Navy.