I Went to the Place Where They Made Heidi

Oh wait, you forgot to plug in the “nobody cares.”

They didn’t betray anybody; they just came through for your opposite.

One guy died and was brought back to life when they played his fav song,

and a bird broke its neck on the rearview mirror.

Nobody said you had to be an armadillo; you made the decision outright.

“We will never have F’in ketchup on our hotdogs!” That kind of conviction

was something you weren’t used to; start acclimating.

You thought you were a teenager, but your birth year was wrong,

like how that Ethiopian guy was, like, 40 and kicked ass straight through.

I imagined that the Nazis were good to us POWs,

but they became quiet and pissed when the Chick-fil-A wrappers

rustled in on the breeze with the stars and stripes in tow.

He just chose to farm sorghum in the middle of Ohio,

and you knew it was inefficient and bad for the planet,

but he loved molasses and American couscous.

He had some sort of tongue knowledge you couldn’t get around,

and it won’t keep you warm at night with all your complaining.

Even your friends will give up on basketball game

and come in to the air conditioning.

Folk art was legitimized a long time ago; did you forget?

Even if he banged a pig, you’d still buy his garden gnomes

made of Studebacker rims and tailpipes for the wide open mouths.