Obv

You could get into those tiny sandwiches,

Or lift tons of metal, get into physics,

Collect candy dispensers while considering

How to get a steak knife through your chest.

Some decisions are made for you: customer convenience.

We’re all the Nigerian prince who turned philanthropic

At the last minute after the war over rocks

Used in phones for everybody.

Audiophiles are embarrassing musicians,

And sharks have no gold medals to date.

I’m don’t like vintage bunkers,

Only new ones built from scratch

To accommodate the interstellar viruses

We thought Technicolor was joking about.

The Everglades have all the chill

And all gators with none at all.

I’ve given up on the no-calorie, pulverized flower additive

That could get me back on the road.

I am following winter around the globe

Without even mentioning skiing,

Just calling people to get Helen Keller reports

On what the sun looks like and how the snails

Are coming on with their intense optimism.

No viewers available, no complaining,

They turned off the car alarm

And made sure everyone knew it was the wind.

Some desserts are serious, like when you insult

Dracula just as everything was going well.

The laughs were sucked under the door

Out into the night where nobody finds the gold

Just because she/he is stupid: they failed to dig

Two feet down because they were busy with pigs

And mushrooms: a meritocracy.