POEM
Happiness With Us
Seth’s Story of Battling Depression and Embracing Family
Mia doesn’t understand
and wouldn’t want to
because she’d have to see
Seth the way he did.
Living with him wasn’t pretty,
ask him; hell, no one asked him.
Seth’d tell you, or anyone,
the truth about the depression
wrapped around the scars
on his wrists like carpet burns.
Seth moved to the dark couch
and sipped dark coffee.
The steam warms
what he couldn’t
heat inside of himself.
The maroon walls
met with evenly white
trim around the windows
and floorboard.
The mahogany floors shone
in the kitchen light and candle
lit dinners for two.
Family pictures hung on the walls
from times that depression
squeezed of happiness.
Seth looked but couldn’t touch
those memories.
The TV played the news,
but Seth rolled his eyes
and grumbled when
they said something
about Donald Trump,
the convicted felon.
Seth reached for the remote,
and pressed a button,
and the sound turned off.
Seth had it in him to tell
Mia about what she wanted
and how he knew she didn’t
want what she thought she wanted,
and how it couldn’t possibly be him.
The stereo played
random playlists
from ’80s rock to ’90s pop.
Mia sang a line here and a line there
as though it were a puzzle for Seth
to piece together like his broken life.
He caught a line in her Hungry Eyes
and she said it like she meant it
not for one or two nights, but for life.
Seth figured he said
more than Mia wanted to know.
Mia placed her fingers
in her ears and closed her eyes,
and move her lips
to release unpleasant
sounds to drown the marks
that life had left him soundproof
of the fears he fought back with tears
in long North Carolina nights.
Seth tried to smile
but pressure weighs
the corners of his mouth
sagged in place just in case
he found life’s answers
in the downpour as he moved
back to the living room
and leaned against the large bay window.
On the windowpanes,
the rain became a ballet
of tiny dancers, each impact
a fleeting splash of silver
against the darkening glass.
The pitter-patter echoes,
flowing down the gutter
without a place to break their fall;
they splash into puddles in potholes.
Mia’s voice, filled with a lifetime of shared memories, broke the silence. “We’ve known each other since we were kids,” she said, her words carrying the weight of their history.
“Even more of a reason not to like me,” Seth said, grinning through glassy eyes.
“It’s not your fault, you know?” Mia said, her eyes trained on his gaze.
“What?”
“You beat yourself up over your parents,” Mia said. “It’s not your fault.”
Seth swallowed hard. “I don’t blame myself,” Seth said, his voice steady, turning to look out the window again. “I accept who I am and the battles I’ve fought.”
“Look at me!” Mia said.
“What’s the use?”
“Because we are a family, you thick headed person you!”
Seth twisted around. He lifted and lowered his hands and crossed his arms. “What are you saying?”
“We are your family.” Mia motioned with a tissue in her hand and mascara spread across her face.
Seth’s eyes lowered to her stomach. “Are you saying…” His eyes widened and softened.
Mia nodded, wiping her eyes with a smile of relief that he understood. “We’re going to be a family,” Mia said. “Your prayers didn’t go unanswered.” Mia shrugged. “Here I am.”
Seth embraced a life with her.
(© 2024 AC)
(Amazon Kindle, Spillwords, The Writers Club)
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