Dear me
She is looking at the mirror
“You look sad, why?” — I don’t know
“Look at your undereye!” — yeah, it’s horrible
“Lack of sleep?” — yeah
“What’s on your mind?” — too much until it’s full on my chest
“You wanna cry?” — I wish but it’s too heavy
“You feel bad?” — I can’t handle it, I am not that strong, I am ruining that
“What would you do?” — I want to disappear
“They would lose you!” — I don’t care, my present doesn’t matter
“But they need you!” — even i can’t help myself!
“Could you smile?” — I want to but it would end up with crying
She does self-talk with a mirror every time she wakes up or sees a mirror.
Tons of questions and intimidation always her ghost, like “You haven’t done your best!” “you are not enough!”.
But she’s trying her best day by day.
She’s trying to keep her smile hanging on her face.
She’s trying to help people even though she’s dying inside.
She’s trying to hug people even though she needs people to do the same thing to her.
She’s trying, she’s doing her best, and the important one is she is holding on.
Holding on, is the least she can do because she knows that she trying to find a reason behind her smile, her pain, and her wound.
Small reasons make her stay day by day.
Even if it’s a good meal, the good smell of coffee, the good smell of bread fresh from the oven, it could make her wake up in the morning to try something new.
At the end
She’s strong
She’s tough
She’s beautiful
She matters
She’s you who tried your best even though everything is hurt and heavy.
She is you.
