Emergency
To be taken care of without delay
“You’re kidding, right? How’s wide feet a medical emergency? I have a bunch of patients waiting outside. They’ve got heart disease, cluster headache, pneumonia, other serious stuff. Most of them are elderly. You’re wasting my time and their time. Worse, some of them are in real pain.”
“I am also in real pain, doc, every time I put on my shoes. Also, would you please write me a note that I can apply for handicapped license plate?”
“No, I would not! Wide feet is not an illness, not an injury; it’s just a minor deformity. Probably three out of ten people have wide feet. I recommend you purchase shoes manufactured for wide feet.”
“Even extra-wide shoes are still too tight for me. Can’t you recommend a specialist who would chop off my pinky toes?”
“Chop off?! Let me suggest you call Dr. Nicholson who despite recent rules and regulations still performs lobotomy.”
A sketch of this article published in https://www.fridayflashfiction.com on January 5, 2026.
