Fast Track Citizen
“No one can take my love of country away from me!” — Elizabeth Gurley Flynn
The officer at Ellis Island reviews the young immigrant’s papers and tells him, “Kid, you are alright, you speak good English, look healthy and strong, but your name is rather outlandish.”
The immigrant shakes his head. “Outlandish. What’s wrong with it?”
“Well, your given name is more or less okay, sounds like George, but your last name is long as a city block. Lotsa syllables. It probably served you very well back home, having those ancient traditions, but here in the United States we’re a young nation. Not much into cultural heritage and stuff. The common rule concerning last names is the shorter the better. Let me do you a favor, I’ll make out your papers to George Smith. But only if you agree.”
The man hesitates. The other immigrants standing in the long line begin yelling at him to hurry up.
“I guess, it’s a good idea,” he says finally. “Thank you, sir.”
As he steps away from the desk, George Smith turns to the others. “Hey, assholes! Why don’t you go back to that shithole of a country or cave system you came from?!”
*****A sketch of this article was published in scribesMicro on July 29, 2024.*****
