How To Feel Human Again
(AKA. Am I Real)?
You take your morning coffee hot enough to remind you that your tongue is still there,
scalding the sides of your mouth with the heat
yet still you say;
Not hot enough.
Make it hotter,
hotter,
hotter.
Seeking pain throughout the day
to remind yourself that you are alive,
from your morning coffee to your bath at night.
Only running the hot tap,
you have to lower yourself in,
limb by limb,
blurring the lines between pain and pleasure
just to see how much you can stand,
how far you can go.
Running 10,
12,
14 miles before breakfast
on an empty stomach,
you push your body to its limits,
constantly.
Self-harm under the guise of ‘discipline.’
Is she a masochist
or does she just want to feel…
alive?
Feeling pain being a reminder that there is something there to feel,
to hurt,
that something exists…
