Naming grief
A poem
and for all I care
I was weary and muted out
for the rest of life
in need of myself
you knew you couldn’t have had me in
any other shape
grasslands turned to cage
so I dug myself a hole
prohibition
of my whole
love
rest assured
I laid that kid to rest
while you talk,
are you doing your best?
shrubs engulf my chest
frailty in repeat
why is growth so generic?
shucks, crazy young
to lose your edge
so sleek and forfeit,
remind me how long it’s been
being so grievous
evasive, pretending
to be brave,
obscure or maybe
ever since we did well
times we were a test
my ingenious reset
I couldn’t have had you
in another shape
should have had you figured
like the ones claiming ‘I see yous-’
first light sees you hollow
knows you were too good
to be you
fondant algae
for my body
diving deep and out of my guts
stay
sunk into lost worlds
and trading hearts
like expired credit cards
my eyes slow shut
this isn’t my body
flared eyes on roads
no, this isn’t my body
but wouldn’t you say
we made each other
boy, wouldn’t you agree
we saw the same?
it’s why I’ll see you again
hell died on us
and death reclaims
get a grip on what’s left of me
agoraphobic retorts
I’m a mess
don’t remain like I ain’t beat
deceiver
find me contorting my senses like a waste of space
unbending my heart
since end of days
and so I’ll have you caught up
for the sake of time and space
we knew nothing
of direction
queen.
