owned lives
A Poem
I won’t deny if you say
I ever found
my breath
staking hella time to earn back
an imitation
but I feel you
wearing away what’s left of my essence
all too well
and I hope my aim is sincere
at your dexterous maleficence,
my light, all too valiant
caught up on perspectives
with a void of malevolence
lost, with one choice
never to be found again
you see, it was me
until I found my hope again
and for you, I would ascend
release my resistance
let go of my dimension
bending opinion with self-reflection
no more dwelling nor apprehension
grown unrestrained
flaking gold to my attention
so much for a home long-burnt
as we take a detour
fighting one hell on top of another,
I would say it only once
I would do it all for you
tell me how you remember
your essence growing beneath you
did you care enough
for the anomalies
that made you?
I hope you know
they don’t need you
they want to steal what makes you
put an arc on you that impersonates you
navigating to own you
it’s all good
I’m jagged and outgrown
your eyes long
like a rupture in your vices
is that why you envision me
to be your rodeo
were you always one of those?
no, I never had anybody
it’s what you would like to believe
for hate to be easier
and you wouldn’t mind it being above you
you better
name what killed your core
forces that took their toll
were they what made you whole?
is that how institutions seize your soul
is that the way you choose love
to preoccupy you?
is that how you choose youth
to seize beneath you?
brave girl
selling old inadequacies as growth
and so I wish I wasn’t unfazed
nor selfish
I wish I was hurt and owned
but in your name
I will resist
faking I’m better than you
so you better
wear that smile on your face
like you’re down for an escape
let your silence justify me
longing it would justify you
you know I own it
slave.
