Pollakiuria
“When you go to court, you’re putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who were not smart enough to get out of jury duty.” — Norm Crosby
I’ve learnt a new word recently, pollakiuria.
The notice to report for jury duty next month came in the mail. My mind immediately went into overdrive, how to weasel out of this?
Age was mentioned but being forty-something was not good enough — you have to be over seventy to earn exemption. While I am convinced that my allergy to pollen and dust is a most crippling affliction, our court system considers it benign since it doesn’t render the potential juror bed-ridden. Caring for elderly seemed like the best ticket out but only if “caring for” was “caregiving” in the diaper-changing sense. Truly loving my old folks who were thankfully living five states away didn’t help me an iota.
Turns out pollakiuria [frequent urination] is no winning excuse either. A number of studies have shown that the average early-middle-age college-educated sexually semi-active American white woman goes to the bathroom at least twice an hour.
Finally one of my girlfriends from college, a practicing psychologist, suggested that during the interview be myself and say whatever comes to mind.
That proved to be just what the doctor ordered.
The prosecutor and the defense rejected me in a heartbeat, and the bailiff offered to help me back to the parking lot in case I didn’t remember where it was.
*******A short sketch of this article was published in Paragraph Planet on May 5, 2024.*******
