Slapjack Hero: Episode II
A Serial Yarn From the Farm
Episode II: Grandma, Leon, Leo, and Lee
We got out of Church in a quick-fast hurry. That’s probably best because I was in no mood to stand around shaking hands with people outside church — hell no, not hot-headed and starving like I was. Besides, if I had run into Otto after that, I probably wouldn’t have been able to restrain myself. We would have thrown down right there on the steps in front of God and everyone. I would have beat his ass for sure. I’m pretty damn tough. Self-control has never been my specialty.
After we got into the car, Mom rudely slammed the door shut; sure enough, she started right in on me. “Leon, what on Earth were you thinking?”
Oh boy: “Leon” is in trouble. I’m “Leo” when I’m not in trouble. Sabby always calls me “Lee.” I’m three people: Leon — a Jerk; Leo — whatever to everyone; and also Lee, Sabby’s brother.
That silly question was rhetorical. Stupid questions from parents usually are. She didn’t really want me to tell her what (on Earth?) I was actually thinking. She just wanted me to sit there looking sorry and sad and down while she ripped my ass apart. I wasn’t having it. “That little Hun tripped me, Mother…right there in church,” I said, with my palms up for dramatics. You have to use dramatics…
