The Reason Why - Chapter Two
Everyone has one
“Are you ready?” Joshua opened the front door for me and motioned for me to head out.
I had agreed to accompany him to the college that he was starting up at in a few weeks. It was a big step to move to a new town and state, but going to a school that I had no clue about was an even bigger challenge.
With a quick head nod, I scooted past him and walked out to the car.
“It doesn’t take too long to get to the campus from here.” Joshua drove down the road towards the college.
I felt my anxiety level rise and couldn’t get my body to calm down. My eyes were fixed, staring straight ahead, and my leg bounced up and down like the muscles were going into spasms.
Joshua told me that everything was going to be all right and that there shouldn’t be an issue with getting into classes. He reached over with his hand and patted my thigh.
I know it was a friendly gesture, but I couldn’t help but flinch away like his hand had burned.
Once I did that, he automatically moved his hand back to the steering wheel.
I was able to respond with an ‘okay’ to his proclamation, but my voice sounded weak like the muscles in my throat had tightened up. I just couldn’t shake the feeling of being tense and on high alert.
After ten minutes of driving, Joshua pulled the car into a long drive that seemed like it went on forever. Although it was a local campus and the main campus was in Raleigh, this was huge compared to the small community-based college that was back in my hometown.
There were students walking along the sidewalks that were lined with tall green trees and various flowering plants in flower beds that were plotted in between the trees. The whole place looked as though it was from some Hollywood movie or TV show.
“This is the front part of the campus.” Joshua motioned to the office buildings that were off to the side. “The classrooms and student apartments are down in the back.” He pointed to the road that led straight ahead. “I have to go to the athletic department, which is this way.” He made a left turn and headed back towards the fields and athletic building. “Does this look like the college you were going to?” He must have noticed me gaping at everything in awe and fascination.
How could I not? I’d never seen this sort of atmosphere before.
I shook my head. “It was just a little local school that only had classrooms. It definitely didn’t look like any of this.” I motioned to the large buildings that were situated on either side of the road.
“This is just a local university, but they offer just about anything that you would want to study. Did you have a major in mind when you applied?”
“Nope. I was just happy to get accepted and be able to go somewhere.” I’d worked hard all through high school to get to where I’d gotten, then my mom went and screwed that all up by getting arrested for the umpteenth time.
“Well, let me drop off some of these." Joshua held up some papers. "...and we’ll head back down to the registration building.” He pulled his car into the parking space. “You can come in with me if you want.”
There were a few guys standing over by the entrance. The look on my face must have signaled that I looked intimidated by their presence.
“Those guys are just some of the ones who I play lacrosse with. They’re cool.” He tried to set my mind at ease.
The thought of walking past a group of guys that I didn’t know made my stomach do a million somersaults. It was okay back at my old high school because I'd known most of those idiots since middle school, but this was the big leagues now…this was college.
‘They know nothing of your past or who your momma is. It’s a brand-new start.’
I slowly opened the car door and stood up. I took careful surveillance of my surroundings like I was waiting for someone to jump out and yell ‘BOO.’
I shut the door and walked around to where he was standing.
Joshua placed his hand on the small of my back. “I’ll introduce you.”
This time, I controlled the need to jump away from his touch.
He swept with his other hand, motioning for me to walk.
I wasn’t used to guys like Joshua being this friendly with me, unless, of course, being friendly meant pushing me up against the lockers and telling me to scream like my momma did the other night.
Along with the constant, ‘Are you as good as your momma?’ and ‘I did your momma last night, we can make it a threesome tonight.’
Then, after feeling me up, they would push themselves off and high-five all the other guys that were standing around.
But with Joshua, it seemed different, like he was actually being friendly without expecting anything in return.
I began to feel a bit better with his touch in this situation like he was a true gentleman. I took one last look at Joshua with that most dazzling smile and let out a deep breath. I let him lead me over to the group of guys who were now watching us with a look of inquisitiveness.
“What’s up?’ Joshua acknowledged the five guys that were hanging out by the lacrosse coach’s office door.
They all did their normal fist bump hand greeting and then turned their attention back onto me.
“We just stopped by to turn these in.” Joshua waved the physical papers that needed to be returned to the coach before he could play this season. “This is Alabama.” He gently rubbed my back, I guess in a way to help me feel less anxious. “She’ll probably start here with all of us at the beginning of the semester.”
All the guys nodded their heads once, but none made any comment.
Joshua nudged me a bit and then proceeded to tell me the names of the guys who were looking at me with curiosity written on their faces.
Each of the guys had been courteous and said hey when Joshua introduced them.
Once again, I was bashful around so many guys that looked as though they just stepped off of some sports magazine. I gazed up from the ground and gave out a quiet hello. I tried not to make eye contact with any one of them in particular.
“I better get these to the coach and then get her over to registration.” Joshua opened the door to the building and motioned for me to go ahead.
“They seemed nice.” It seemed there was a world of difference from high school boys to college men.
“Yeah, most of them are. I’ve known them since high school.” Joshua opened the door to the coach’s office.
“Joshua, what a pleasure seeing you this morning,” the secretary greeted him.
Joshua had explained on the car ride over here that Ana, the coach’s secretary, had taken the part-time job of being on the lacrosse team roster to help pay off her student debt. She’d come to know most of the players over the past spring and summer practices and meetings that they attended.
Ana was staring at me like I’d just stepped on some property that was hers. She glared at me but had bedroom eyes for Joshua. She was beautiful, angry, and seemed to have a split personality.
“I just need the coach to get these papers before the end of the day.” Joshua sat the papers down on the desk.
The sound of Joshua’s voice broke her death glower on me and she turned back to Joshua with a sickly, sweet smile. Ana nodded her head once and took the papers from Joshua. She kept one eye on both of us as she filed the papers away into the folder. Maybe she was waiting to see if there was anything going on between the two of us.
“Is this a friend of yours?” Ana then leaned across the desk with her face propped up on her hands. It was a free show down her shirt for Joshua.
“Oh yeah, sorry.” Joshua took my hand and brought me closer to his side. “Ana, this is Alabama. She most likely will be starting here at the beginning of the semester.”
I smiled as friendly as I could to the girl who seemed to be scrutinizing my every move. It was that look of ‘he’s mine and you’re in my way’, a situation I refused to get caught up in. I responded to the ‘hey’ greeting that this Ana girl felt obligated to deliver and then let my hand drop from Joshua’s loose grip.
“What will you be studying?” Ana tried to initiate casual talk to make it appear she was interested.
“Um — I haven’t really decided yet.”
At one point, I wanted to go into nursing, but now I really didn’t know.
“Well, we better get going.” Joshua seemed in a rush to get away from this girl.
“It was nice to meet you.” I gave Ana another small smile and turned back around to leave. I felt her glare and the stabs of imaginary knives into my back. She obviously had an issue with me being with him.
“Yeah, you too.” Ana's tone was polite, even though her eyes told a completely different story. She reached around the side of the desk and rubbed Joshua’s arm. “I guess I’ll see you later and I’ll make sure the coach gets those papers as soon as he gets in.” A huskier, deep, seductress-type tone was used when she turned her attention back to him.
“Yeah, okay.” Joshua moved his arm out of Ana’s reach. “Thanks.” He followed behind me and let the door to the office close quickly behind him.
The guys from the team were gone from the front of the building when we got back outside.
I stepped aside and let Joshua lead the way back to his car. He was even chivalrous enough to open my door and shut it after I’d gotten settled in.
“Was that an ex-girlfriend?” The curiosity of why that Ana girl kept giving me the evil eye was eating at me.
I decided since this was a new start there should be a new Alabama, one who didn’t let rudeness back me into a corner. I was going to be bold and start asking questions. It seemed Joshua was the only so-called friend that I had right now.
“Uh…no.” Joshua silently chuckled at the assumption. “She’s just someone who seems to want to date anyone from the lacrosse team.”
“So, this lacrosse thing is big here at this school?” There was only football and baseball at my old high school. Those were the ones who’d caused me the most torment for the past four years of my life.
“Yeah, I guess so.” Joshua turned into the complex of buildings that had the registration department in it. “You didn’t have that sport at your school?” He parked the car and motioned for me to get out with him.
I closed my eyes and let out a deep breath. Even though I just promised myself to be a big, brave dog, I still hated new situations, especially ones that were on such short notice. But if I wanted to get anywhere in life and not end up in the same situation as my mother, then I’d better swallow my fear of people and new circumstances and try to make the best of it.
“Nope, all they had was the regular football and baseball programs.” I followed him as he led the way into another building.
“Can I help you?” An older lady with short, curly graying hair welcomed us as we walked into the front office.
“I’m trying to find out if it’s too late for this young lady to register for this upcoming semester. She’s new to the area and would like to start school immediately.”
The older lady looked down at the calendar on her desk and pointed to a date that was circled in red. “It looks as though the cut-off for registration was last Wednesday.”
“But she wasn’t here last week. She was accepted at another school, but a change of plans made her come to North Carolina from Alabama.” Joshua was trying anything to help me get into starting school this fall. He played with the student ID card that was strung around his neck. It had his picture and the notation that he was a member of the Lacrosse team. It seemed as though he was trying to use this as a persuasion to get her to rethink the decision once again.
I remember seeing pictures all along the hallway back at the house, ones that showed Joshua in his team uniform and then a few with him holding a great big trophy that said State Champs on it.
“You were accepted at another school and had to move?” The registration secretary peered over the rim of her glasses. Probably in her past hundred years at this school and job, she’d heard every reason under the sun why someone had to move from another place.
I nodded my head. “Yes, ma’am,” I spoke for myself before Joshua had the chance.
The older woman glanced at the clock and then to the door at the back of the room. “I think the guidance counselor and Freshman Admissions Counselor are still in for the moment, hold on.” She got off her extra-large swivel chair and walked back to the next office. She knocked once and then let herself in.
“Hopefully, they can see you today.”
I nodded again and twisted my hands together out of nervousness. The opening of the office door jerked my head back over to where the secretary was coming out.
She motioned for me to come back. “They both have a few minutes if you’d like to come speak with them.”
I looked over at Joshua.
He told me he would wait outside.
I went back to where the secretary was waiting and followed her into the room where the other two individuals were waiting.
It had been almost an hour since Joshua had left me in the registration office. I walked out of the building and found him half asleep listening to the radio in his car. I had a whole stack of papers that I placed on the backseat and then got myself situated in the front.
“How did it go?” Joshua backed the car out of the parking space and began the drive out of the campus.
I watched everything pass me by once again, this time looking at it in a different light.
“Not too bad.” I held up one of the papers that the registration office had given to me. “They called the school I was supposed to attend, and had them send all my info over. They got all my student loans and federal grants that I was getting and had them transferred over to a North Carolina status. I still have to wait and see if I am able to get any state grants since I have a new address for here.” I couldn’t help the big grin that spread across my face. I was truly moving on and making something of myself. “And then they allowed me to sign up for classes on a provisional acceptance.”
Joshua patted my knee. “That’s awesome.” I think his smile was even bigger than mine.
“Yep.” My head was still spinning from all that had happened over the past month. So much had changed, I just hoped that it was all for the better.
The drive back to the house went quickly as it seemed both of us had a lot on our minds. My concentration was on the big step that I’d just taken in being accepted into a new school, but that all changed when Joshua pulled his car into the driveway.
“Wonder why he’s home so early?” Joshua seemed irritated that Hunter’s truck was parked where their mother had supposedly told them not to park a hundred times over.
“Is he supposed to be at work or something?” I followed Joshua into the house to see what the issue was with Hunter being home at this time. I heard Crystal laughing and the sound of Hunter’s voice telling some sort of story.
“Hey, guys. How’d it go over at the college?” Crystal acknowledged Joshua and me when we entered the kitchen.
We both sat down at the table with her and Hunter.
“It went good.” Joshua watched his brother with the eyes of an eagle. He always seemed to be so tense and ready to pounce whenever he was around Hunter. “We all need to celebrate Alabama getting accepted into school for the fall semester.”
A loud squeal came from Crystal. She got up and wrapped me in a tight hug. “That’s awesome. I’m so happy for you!”
“Thank you.” I gave her a small hug back. My eyes darted over to Hunter, but he wasn’t even paying attention to either of us.
“Did you pick what you wanted to study or are you just taking regular courses for now?” Crystal sat back down and poured herself another glass of sweet tea. She filled glasses for both me and Joshua, then pushed them towards us.
“I haven’t decided yet.” I took a long swallow of the cold drink and then continued, “So, I’m just taking the basic courses right now.”
“Well, we can all celebrate this Saturday. Hunter and his band have a concert down at ‘The Mix’.”
“The Mix.” It seemed Joshua was surprised that Hunter’s band would be playing there.
“Yeah. We submitted a recording to them and the owners liked what they heard,” This time, it was Hunter who actually spoke up. “They invited us to play on the biggest night of the year. The weekend that all the students move into the residency halls.” He seemed excited about what was going on with his band.
As much as I wanted to look over at him, I kept my cool and focused only on Joshua and his mom. After being wrapped up in my own thoughts, I was only able to hear the final part of what Hunter had said.
He said something along the lines that maybe we all shouldn’t go since it was going to be really packed.
“Yeah, I don’t think I can go.” Now, I had everyone’s attention after interrupting Hunter's speaking. “I really never went to a club before. Plus, I’m like sort of underage and really don’t like the taste of alcohol.” It’s not that I didn’t like the taste of alcohol, I’ve never tried any of it. I saw how my momma acted when she was high on the stuff and said I would never…ever be like that.
“You can. A lot of the students from the college will be there.” Joshua seemed overly eager for me to go. “They don’t check ID’s because they know college kids are going to sneak in if they try to keep them out. But we can always get you a fake ID, a lot of the kids I know have them just in case they start to card people at the door.” His eyes seemed to be pleading with me to change my mind.
Crystal hadn’t said anything about this whole alcohol and underage thing, so I’m guessing she was okay with it. There wasn’t much she could probably do since it wasn’t like they were little boys whom she had to keep an eye on twenty-four hours a day.
“The cops around here keep an eye on things to make sure nothing gets out of hand, but they aren’t really looking for underage drinkers.” Joshua was making one last-ditch effort to get me to change my mind.
“Um, I really don’t know. I don’t want to be the party pooper of the group. Y’all can go and have fun without me.” I was trying to be adamant about not going, but the sad faces Joshua kept giving me were wearing me down. Part of me wanted to say okay, but then the looks I was getting from Hunter made me want to crawl away and hide in a hole.
He was quite intimidating with his stares. As much as I wanted to dislike him as much as he disliked me, I found myself becoming even more attracted to him. His longish brown hair, with a little bit of curl at the ends, made me want to run my fingers through it. His brown eyes, unlike Joshua’s blue-friendly eyes, were full of mystery and secrecy.
“That’s good, dear.” Crystal patted my hand. “You and I will drink soda and watch all the others act foolishly.”
Now that I had Crystal egging me to go, how could I say no? I nodded in agreement with her proposal.
The look that Hunter gave me for agreeing to go was one that made my hair stand up on end. It seemed that wasn’t the answer that he was looking for regarding us going to the club.
“I gotta get going.” Hunter pushed his chair out and stood up to leave. “I have to be at practice in ten.”
“I have a great idea.” Crystal tugged on his arm before he got any further away from her. “Why don’t you let Alabama tag along with you? I’m sure she would like to get out of the house for a while.”
“Mom, maybe she doesn’t want to go.” Joshua sounded irritated that his mom even brought up such a suggestion.
“I — uh — couldn’t intrude like that.” I finally spoke up about the situation. I glanced over Hunter’s way and he looked pissed off about the thought of me being there.
“It’s a private session.” Hunter gave one final reason why I couldn’t go.
This caused Joshua to show a big smile and Crystal to shake her head.
I knew I should just stand up and walk out. It was obvious that this guy didn’t want anything to do with me. And as much as I wish I could feel the same towards him, I felt this pull towards him.
I’m becoming as bad as my momma with guys.
When I should just get away as fast as I can, I stick around for more.
“Oh, I’m sure your band members won’t mind.” Crystal was being more insistent with Hunter and looked like she wasn’t giving up until she got her own way. “Joshua will even go along too.”
A look of shock crossed over Joshua’s face after that comment. “Mom, I don’t wanna go.” Joshua was moaning and groaning about having to go to the band practice. He looked like a little kid with his pouty lips and pleading eyes. He acted like she just told him he was going to see an opera for three hours and not going to listen to a rock band.
“Joshua quit whining. Your brother used to go to your lacrosse practices, now it’s time for you to do the same and support him.” This time, Crystal used her motherly tone.
It seemed that’s all it took for both guys to straighten up and stop their fussing about the rehearsal.
“Whatever.” Both Joshua and Hunter had the same response at the same time. They looked at each other and scowled.
“You know how to get there.” Hunter slammed his chair against the wall. He didn’t look back as he exited the kitchen.
Thirty seconds later, we all heard the sound of his truck starting up and the spinning of gravel as he backed out of the driveway. Guess he wasn’t too happy about his momma putting her foot down.
Crystal didn’t look too joyful either as she shook her head and glared in the direction of the driveway.
My guess is that the spinning of tires was directed towards her and her plants which she took pride in.
“Do we really — ”
Joshua’s words were cut off by his momma’s hand over his mouth. “Yes.” Then Crystal removed her hand. “Now, get your things together and go have fun for a while.” She turned to look at me.
I was still sitting at the table watching and soaking in the whole atmosphere of having a family around.
“Both of you.” She pointed to the hallway, indicating that we needed to go.
I heard her laugh to herself as both Joshua and I scampered away. The last thing I needed was another member of this family angry at me for being here. It seemed Hunter covered that aspect for all of them.
