This is All Will’s Fault
Because who can resist a prompt?
A bit late in the day…
I was tagged in a prompt by Will last week sometime. I forget the day, because since I clapped ten times (yes, I have my own weird algorithm and Will agrees that this is cool so I’m keeping it), my phone died, and following that… the next day to be precise… my laptop died as well.
Lack of tech makes me a wreck.
Okay, that’s not mixing fiction and poetry because it is entirely true.
I’ve resorted to using an ancient iPad, that I managed to get working a l’il bit, to finally respond to the prompt. I can’t resist a good prompt and this reply has been hanging over me like my now belligerent mood for some days.
Now belligerent because I’m (still) fuck broke after a mad life challenge and despite my best and continued efforts. To top it off I now can’t even be working to try, some more, to remedy that. Or even pay the Apple guy to reinstall the software, that I already reinstalled a couple of weeks ago, when the stupid laptop bombed for the second time. Yep. This is third time’s not a fucking charm, for the sudden death of the preowned and refurbished MacBook.
I think I need a new laptop, only I can’t fucking afford one.
Writing replies to prompts that I also can’t even monetise, because you can’t tick the l’il box to do that on the Medium app (only on the desktop version) may, at least, keep me sane.
I’ve already cleaned the place I’m currently inhabiting. I’ve cleaned it well. I’ve cleaned in between the in between of the grouting, between the tiles. The place is fucking spotless to be clear.
Then I took a long walk around the hood to keep myself occupied until the tech situation abates. And now I’m writing this reply to Will’s prompt, because I happen to like Will and his prompts.
I like any prompt, in fact. But not any Will, because I’m picky about humans these days. This is a good Will though. I can tell.
I like a good prompt, as I often avoid writing simply because I don’t have the patience to put things down on paper. Writing takes a great deal of time. It seems like a bridge too far in a world bent on making time, some days, even if I love to do it. Time is money for a freelancer. Writing here doesn’t make them dollars. Not really. Not mostly.
Writing here does, however, make interesting connections and acquaintances. Infinitely more valuable.
But let’s get to the point. Or the prompt, to be more precise.
Fiction and poetry
My bank account is bursting
So I’m not nursing
To the system hell bent
On answering emails
Also – fuck the system.
Some pub names. The writing ones ‘cause I gave up alcohol ages ago, and have now lost all interest in drowning myself in the stuff. It’s a pity, because I could use some oblivion, some days. But I’ve travelled so far along the road of so-called recovery, that I honestly couldn’t think of anything worse than doing the shit days with a hangover to boot. Or even feeling drunk before they hit.
So here I am… stuck, being fully sober and coherent, regardless. People would pay millions for this kind of recovery. Maybe I should write a book or something.
Um. Can’t think of one. I would never run a pub, personally, because I don’t want the responsibility.
I started one when I first found Medium. It was called Qu!rk. It was going to be about honest sharing of recovery and personal commentary on pop culture, because “we are all mad here” (stolen). I reckon the more honestly we share, the less stigma there is around addiction and mental health etc, the better for all of us.
I, personally, am a part of and from a family of humans with addiction challenges in a variety of areas, and I am the only one who has decided to deal with my shit.
I look around and see people everywhere, who consider themselves completely “normal” but, who are acting out in bat shit crazy ways. People who aren’t even aware that they may have areas, that they may wanna address to improve their lives.
Addiction to the telly, sugar and love is considered just fine mostly. Normal, in fact. As are prescription drugs and a daily joint, or drink, to “relax”. It’s not the thing being used to avoid reality that is the real problem… just so you know…
It’s the acting out that makes people challenging to be around when they have addictive behaviours. The denial that results in blaming others. The dishonesty to maintain the denial, and keep up the pretense of fine and normal.
When you have a bit of experience with how this stuff works, it can get really fucking weird to watch it go down with some curious detachment and objective observation.
But who am I to judge? And that was the point of Qu!rk.
But a pub was too much responsibility for me.
Also, I prefer to take extended breaks from online stuff, and detox from the World Wide Web regularly, to maintain my equilibrium. Running a pub would prevent that. I’m pretty co-dependent and would worry my panties off, that I wasn’t responding to potential writers in due course and that their feelings may get hurt.
No can do.
No more pub names to offer… er… how about “The Hood” for how stuff works? Like, looking under the hood. See, I really do suck at this. Maybe ask Will.
Make Will an offer?
Hah. With what, I would ask…
I’m about to actually start busking in desperation. No. Really. I’ll sing and everything. Out of tune. But loudly, and enthusiastically… I promise.
Apparently the gods and goddesses have decided that I’m not to provide website services for the potential client that just reached out. I’ve decided that I have no desire to work with “addicts” any more either. They are too full of shit and I’m currently too outta patience.
I wanna be a musician. But I don’t want to perform. Ever. Okay? God knows I’ve got the starving artist thing down pat.
Will… I can offer you an almost but not quite free, long distance Reiki session.
I mean, I know fuck all Reiki and even less about energy healing, but it seems legit and people do this, right? So sit tight. Some mega healing vibes coming your way. You can email me the pub name, or just transfer funds tomorrow morning preferably, because I’m not on here enough to run a pub.
Thanks for the prompt. You may be responsible for me finding my new career. Anyone else need some remote energy work doing? I’m available.
Can you feel the vibes?
Also – I can’t submit this to Rainbow Salad on the app, or tag a Will. So it may appear on the pub even later than expected …
Thanks for your reading time!
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