10:28
Grainy,
Like sand
Slipping through
My mind
Becomes memory
Both far
And wide,
A chasm
Between you and I
Past and present,
Future self
I cannot hide
Behind blank stare
And crooked smile
Of life lived
And cynicism
Forged in the fires
of Mt. Doom and gloom
of the occasion.
So the tears well up
And I cannot fight
As it rains
40 days and 40 nights
I am drowning
But when I
Dug deep down
In that grainy hazey soup
I saw your face
And heard your word
Kind and clear —
Unshakable in me
Guiding me to surface
Calm and free.
I digest each
Fully and
Regurgitate
In the voice of my Mother
Round and round
Like vinyl record spins
It repeats as mantra.
It is the song
That keeps me sane
When I am crazed
Inside myself.
Mitochondrial
Etch’n’sketched
In Chromosome
I cherish it
Because if not for
The blood
You spared my life
I wonder what kind of
Creature I’d have been.
And it is this
That creates
Insomniatic thought
In the brain jam
I spread so thin
Sometimes I think
It’ll break
But there is hope in me
Watered by you
And I know it connects
And I know it is good
Because you are home.
— — — — —
Dedicated to my mother who passed suddenly on April 7th.