3 a.m.

Nardine
Nardine
Aug 24, 2017 · 2 min read

i wake up at 3 a.m. to nothing

only the still, hot air in my room

i am drenched in my grandmother’s words

they suffocate me like humidity

so that i have no choice but to rise.

The world is not worth our pain, she says in Egyptian-Arabic,

and in her blind eyes i see much regret,

i begin to carry that regret inside of me, like a baby,

sometimes i’m afraid to move for i may be consumed

and i am unsure whether it is feeding off of me or if i am feeding off of it

i rise,

the way we believe angels to rise on the evening of Laylet Al-Qadr

when our prayers go up to God

when my mother prays in the living room, i hear her whisper words of hope

she does not know i stand at the side, absorbing her

she does not think i study well, but i study her, so that i memorize her dreams and know her four different smiles and understand what she truly means when she says i should have been a teacher

i rise at 3 a.m., at 4, at 5

something is tugging at me to get up, start my day, continue my life

for perhaps it is not just my life but the lives of the many women who live inside of me

maybe i’ll devour a book or drown myself in thoughts of my future

anything to keep me from thinking about how you called me last night

and in a soft whisper told me that, at seventeen, you were engaged to be married.


Poets Unlimited

Six Years of poetry-only publishing, PoetsUnlimited was a diverse, engaging and authentic poetry magazine. For most of that time a daily publication, it was always diverse and original, and free-to-read by all.

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Nardine

Written by

Nardine

Speech-language pathologist-to-be | I write flash fiction/prose and essays meant to be food for thought.

Poets Unlimited

Six Years of poetry-only publishing, PoetsUnlimited was a diverse, engaging and authentic poetry magazine. For most of that time a daily publication, it was always diverse and original, and free-to-read by all.

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