A Bachelor Experience

i was 19.
i figured that I could do it,
i think i handled it rather well.
definitely could’ve went worse.
having my own place.
living alone.

i fucked. (realized i’m a pretty good fuck.) drank as much as i could. smoked non-stop for days on end. revisited mushrooms.

…now that i think about it
there really was no other way it all could’ve turned out.
i mean the odds we’re never in my favor when it came to chastity and moderation.
i look back on all of it and smile.
it was an experience.
i learned much.
about myself. women. rent. the anxiety of eviction. frugality and lack thereof.
suicide…

what a chapter,
thrusting my self in hellfire.
then being refined.