You always left me in the night

I feigned indifference

Since being alone was something

I had grown to be good at

Yet when you left my insides screamed out

I could feel the air shift in my tiny room

Watched the swirl of my colors that followed you out

As I lay entangled — in all the you that remained

Your entrails, my pieces, they followed you

Wisping after you as the door closed

Did you feel them?

I left it open

Just a crack

In perpetual hope

Of your return

Why do none of them stay?

To fill this lonely mind with something other

Than the warm memories

Occupying the small space between two sheets

Recalling when it was over

As we laid together

Breathing as one

I laughed at you

You caught my hand

When I tried to smack you

You always deserve it

You laugh back and it breaks me

I wish to bottle that boom

Keeping your sound in a jar

On my nightstand

Your voice floats off

Like a firefly, your eyes twinkling

I want to eat it, like a fat toad

Hoarding it greedily in my mouth

I wish to keep it for mine

Away you go, like all the others

In my reverie I think I see a light

I laugh myself to sleep, and I dream of bugs

While I clutch at remnants of you

Your shirt fills the whole space

Of the body you left behind

Sometimes I woke up with it

Balled up beside my boozy head

Sometimes when I hated you

I shoved it back into the corner

Inevitably my fingers would longingly reach for it

In the coldest, most vacant parts of night

When the utterness of my alone was complete

No longer flitted about by imaginary lights

Simply a discarded, unwashed swatch

That was graced with your skin inside

I pull you over me

Covering myself in you

I curl up, and slowly rock

Into that restless slumber

Thinking of the flashes of red I saw

When your mouth left mine

Taking your wickedness

That I wanted anyway

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