Dealing with an Eating Disorder

You tell me not to be stressed
about food, gym and health
you tell me not to be obsessed
and you remind me those days when
I would eat a whole bar of chocolate
without even know what calories were
But let me clarify one thing
it’s not that easy
Those voices in my head
are controlling myself
and I’m trying to defeat them
but I’m getting tired
as they suck all my power
I swear I fight them back
and sometimes I win
but sometimes I take
one step forward and two steps back
so I’m always here
surrounded by anxiety and fear
60…59…58…57….56…55
just simple numbers on a scale
but as they decrease
I feel so powerful yet scared
to cross the line
dividing sanity from insanity
and suddenly I’m walking on a tightrope
trying not to fall
into the darkest of all holes

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