Defined

I don’t seem to have anything to say anymore.

I don’t dream.

I don’t imagine.

I don’t feel.

It’s an emptiness I always knew was there.

We all share it alone.

However brief my reprieve.

It’s a terrible thing to live in an undefined darkness.

It’s much worse to see a flicker of light.

Was it real?

Is this real?

Am I?

Is any of this real?

A moment fleeting.

We’re all pretending.

None of us live.

We’re placed in situations and contexts like pieces on a game board.

Paths predefined to create the illusion of freedom.

Our fates already determined.

Preconceived responses to preconceived questions.

Death sentences designed to feel like choices.

I tried to change my fate.

I leapt.

And I’ve fallen.

Right back into nothing.

It was a flicker of light.

That defined the darkness.

Unforgiving and cold.

Lonely and common.

Beyond hurt. Beyond disaster.

Empty.

As it always has been.

As it should be.