“Falling”

When I was a child…my mother would tell me to tie my shoes or I would fall

Often too involved in my activity I would ignore her warning

Step on the lace and hit my face

Against the wall

Or teeth to carpet

I can taste the slight taste of dust just thinking about it

When I got older, I was awkward and clumsy

So my shoes could be tied, they could be the perfect fit

And I’d still find some way to trip

I would walk over my own left foot with the right one

Or turn and hit the wall, kick the wall as if it could feel my pain

Like it deserved it

Knowing it was my fault for not being more careful

At 30 I realize I love like that

When I should tie my emotions to caution

I get too involved in the excitement and run too wildly, too free

And I step on my untied emotion and fall flat on my face

I see the walls my crush puts up, get distracted by her friendship

Turn and hit that wall face first

Well my face hurts

And I’m tired of tripping

I sit staring at my bruises wondering

What was the point of it all

But I never question anymore why they call it falling

I fell for her, I fell for her so hard

I damn near broke my jaw

I don’t wanna speak

I don’t wanna eat

It hurts too much to chew these emotions

Of regret

Of acceptance

Of friendship

I hate how close she wants to be with me

But not be with me

I taste this carpet instead of her lips

And it irks me that I have to get use to this taste

Cause I can’t get up

It may be funny when Urkel says it

But it ain’t so funny that I mean it

I’ve fallen

And I can’t…get up

_