Goodbyes

I thought I would always remember this,

but over time, it has become blurred.

I thought that this, this little bundle

Of memories — stored deep

In the recesses of my

Fusty, unreliable

Neuron circuits,

Would never vanish.

But over time it has.

I thought I would never forget

The way you smiled,

The corners of your mouth

Turning up, just so.

And pushing your skin

Into deep tanned folds,

Just like the sand dunes

We used to race on.

But your smile has gone astray

In the valleys and peaks

Of my mind.

I never thought I would forget

The way the wind played with your hair -

Pulling it this way and that

Making it stick up at angles

Unknown to mankind,

And the way it lay tame

Against the soft cotton of your pillow

Giving you a salt and pepper halo

I never thought I would forget

The sound of your laughter,

A deep guffaw, a chortle

Or a bellow

Depending on the teller of the joke

But they seem to have faded

To faint echoes

Travelling in the winds that rustle

Your hair.

I never thought I would never forget

The way you smelt

Like “Old Spice” and caramelised onions

And Amma’s aggarbathi kuchi.

But then, smell is rather touchy

And refuses to recognise

Anything anymore.

The day you went away

I looked at you

And promised myself

I would never forget.

And I held on

As best as I could

But you slipped away

Like water in my fist

And all that was left

Was the wet.