Home
I have been cowering for so long
Under the shadow
That the mist and the fog and the sunlight
And whatever lies beyond
evades my eyes as a vision blurred and battered,
ensconced in the throes of timeless anguish,
by thoughts of your blinding rage or perhaps my own timidness
I knew it once, its hue and shape — its contours, curves, and all
Fed it, caressed its wings as it learnt to fly
But yours was the ultimate say
“It’s for your own good, OUR OWN GOOD” you’d say
And I listened and did as told and let it wither
Now when I see so many others — tethering their hopes to endless dreams
Honing them tirelessly, falling and yet moving on further
It’s the thought of home that I cannot keep at bay
(If it is there, to call mine and people)
“Don’t be ungrateful” you’d say. “This is your home –
unreal dreams, that will be your undoing. You wait and see!”
wait I did and see until I couldn’t
and fled to a realm unknown to both you and me
over here dreams are quickly bought and sold and grow old
go ‘out of vogue’ as they say.
To be more, to do more is nothing but
only a disguise for delusion — one man’s truth….
For some there is no other reality but the one they have distilled out
For others the burden of failure shrivels into resentment and proliferates
into sweltering hate
This is the way it has been since man learnt his name
Yet we always find it difficult to understand that betrayal too is a kind of love
for if we don’t lose we never actually learn
paradoxes make it bearable
the harassing monotony of habits and borrowed ambitions
but halfway through this path strewn with yellow leaves and budding weeds
where I halted not too long ago, I cannot help but remember and wonder
what kind of love it is that binds and destroys at the same time?
what kind of dreams that thrive on detaining
the truth behind the wall?
I have been under the shadow of this red rock for too long
I discovered the lies in its crevices and the truths smudged in its corners
having not completely lost and not completely gained
I sit under this shadow
holding on to that same sight
Of home
That could be mine!
