Hope vs. Disappointment

Explain to me

the emptiness inside

that’s eating at my guts

when I try to hide

that I, in fact, do miss you

way more than I confess

way more than I intended to

— — — — — — — — — — — —

it’s in your head

it’s in your head

— — — — — — — — — — — —

Explain to me

the moment of infectious belief

that what you long for most

will never happen…

Heaving heart,

thoughts running around:

up to the brain and way back down again —

back, back! To the center of the pain.

I’m trying to explain the feeling

of tantalizing hope

mixed with preceding disappointment

…you’re hanging your own rope…

maybe he’s standing at the door

because he couldn’t bare to leave

and still your brain says “NO”

and still you do believe.

But in your deepest, darkest corner

you know already: it’s a lie;

he didn’t come, he didn’t wait…

you both have said goodbye.

And so you’re disappointed

even before you know you’re right —

the picture that your mind has painted

has turned into a lie.

And still, while you are walking,

the battle carries on

your hope and disappointment

are fighting for the throne.

Who win’s the final struggle?

Who’s gonna turn out right?

You walk around the corner

and stare into the night:

the entrance lies in silence,

your heartbeat in a slope…

your disappointment towers

above your strangled hope.