Lessons of Winter (i)
Of growing older
Took a deep breath
Let the darkness sink in
bottom of the pit
disaster child
layers of boredom
layers of guilt
temperamental disillusionment
Love that gets easier and harder
the more self awareness grows.
Parts of me that lusts
after love found
at the bottom of the bottle,
at the back of the bar,
dancing on tables
in the meaningless sheets
of strangers who mirror.
Took a deep breath
Let the calm settle
eye of the storm
calamity love
whispering affirmatives
you are not broken
you are not wrong
Silence that shows
all the ways I glow
Now that I know
I am my own Sun,
now that I know
aloneness that doesn’t come
from faux aloofness.
Took a deep breath
Measured it out
evenly poured shots
trembling hands that felt
the weight of a million worlds
exploding into dust
as self rebuilt
Ashes of lust that knows
sometimes, Love is quiet.
It could be a second
a lifetime, a dream
a beginning
or an end.
Love can be anything.
Took a breath
and began
Living.
