An odd thing.
So well intentioned.
So very hurtful.
Every word of caution; every piece of advice.
You’re judging me.
You’re calmly explaining that the sum of me is not enough.
Will never be enough.
If I only he could figure that out, you think.
If only I could save him from himself, you think.
If only he could see the reality of it all, you think.
If only you could see her through my eyes, I think.
If only you could feel as safe as I do with her, I think.
If only you could know that she is worth it, no matter the circumstance, I think.
I have had enough of your pity.
I have had enough of your glances.
I have had enough of your whispers.
Do not confuse longing with despair.
Do not assume that you have ever felt love.
If you pity me for mine, I do not believe you have.
I am not worthy of your pity.
Nor do I deserve it.
My eyes are open.
And so is my heart.
Perhaps that is reckless.
Perhaps that is foolish.
Perhaps that is all it will ever be.
But, it is not pitiful.
There is no woe for me, so there will be no woe is me.
There is only hope.
Wonderful, magical hope.
Hope is not easy; it’s easier to let go.
But, hope is all we truly have in this world.
I will never pity you.
I will hold onto hope.
And I will hope that you find your own.