Love; Illusion

I’m paying a thousandfold for my sin.
The bleakness of my reality sets in.
I’ve fallen in love with an illusion
The reality of which adds to my confusion.

The pain unfurls in me coming to full bloom
As I sit in despair in my room
My desire will never be woven in Fate’s loom
Yet my dream still tempts with her oleander bloom.

I run my fingers through her soft silky hair
And then I remind myself that she’s not really there.
Her smell and her feel are so intoxicating
While the chill of the truth is suffocating.

I ask myself when I stooped so low.
Before my minds creation I humbly bow.
Incapable of having a relationship
Because my insanity’s enough for me to slip.

I used to pride myself on my ability to dream.
Now all I can do is moan and scream
A gift can be a curse if you take it too far.
Just ask the whimpers of my tortured heart.

Oh we’re together- in my dreams.
Where reality and fiction meet at the seams.
A shadow of a person that exists in my mind
And she’s become my everything, to reality blind.

I wonder if I’ll ever escape this cage.
Maybe I’ll be rescued, maybe I’ll escape.
Maybe I’ll be cured by meeting with a sage.
Despite being trapped, I feel no rage.
And on that note, I’ll end this tape.