On What I’ve Come to Understand About Esoteric Bullshit and Motivational Double-speak
When I fell
I fell 3 times
broken bones,
fragmented hope,
stagnant pulse,
and fixated gaze.
ghostly in my way,
a fake,
fraudulent prose…
purple and bleeding,
bruised.
I feel
and then I don’t.
You are no more
but faded time
I passed along
like dust
I watched
waver in the wind,
elusive in your way,
ticking down
into the dead
of night
bruised.
variations of which
I’ve come to understand
To tell the truth I used to think that hurt was binary.
Zero-sum
and hopefully finite.
I’ve come to find however,
that it is a lingering thing that hides behind the smiles of those
who treat self-harm as a play thing, and pretend that this is living the life
high as fuck and low as ever.
Existing, just so
but living not quite.
The human condition,
one would think is laughable
and yet delusion in and of itself
is a glorious refuge.
A cup runneth over,
spilled milk
lapped up
by an existence perfectly summed up in picture form.
La vida loca.
TIL: Fear is Eternal.
Those that rise above
are no less trapped
in its thorny grasp.
Restless spirits
fall on through
rabbit holes
infinite
and whether by
hubris
or stupidity,
continue on.
Truthfully,
I am not sure
if there is anything
motivational
about living
in either head-
space
but
it is all panacea anyway
to cope
with chaos.
3 times hence
many more forth
I feel
and then I don’t.
