roads

sometimes you don’t know how to go on and there’s no shame in that
you look at your blistered feet
that are standing in the river’s stream
and then you look up
and everything up there
is blue and clear
yet
you still don’t know what you seek
but
you feel the stream hugging your toes
water passing through your heels and ankles
making the trousers wet
you see the bird, the kingfisher
eating a fresh fish glistening in golden daylight
his body orange and blue
like oranges and sky
sometimes you look for the roads but they aren’t there
and
you know that you need to bleed your hands to build your own roads
and
that in whatever gods you believe
even
if that god is yourself
those roads will be yours
for truly you have caught the storm in your feathers
and made bed in every tree of the dark forest that your father built
when you were 5 years old
when you lost your way for the first time
when people told you
that you have to obey the laws of the common life
and
that the light of the world
can only shine
if someone else will light it up for you
but you grew up and you understood
the lie
that kept you
locked at the back of the truck
working your back
like a giant in a story where everyday life was sweat and blood
but
where there was
no light
no hope
no heroes

you stare at the sun at day
the moon at night
you travel the roads that you’ve built where there’s no greed
and love is all glitter
and all cherry trees
you weep
for the beauty you’ve created is final
it shines through your light blue vains from the heart
till the end and beginning
of every road
you take
and
every road
means home now