That prolonged emotion…

You dwell in me,
My mind must be a perfect cynosure,
Vulnerable, isn’t it?
You are in with your receptive look of composure,

You have come, too often:
sometimes it’s my unconscious will to have you delve in me;
sometimes you are uncontrollable;
sometimes you stay for long;
sometimes you are just the ignition, churning a thoughtful chain to prolong;
sometimes you were born of a past action.

There were days when I have found solace in you.
I have given you all my time.
All you have given me is a painful scrub for an irremovable grime. 
All you think of is a permanent existence.
Pause.
You don’t think, I do, quite often.

You just crave for attention,
Sprinkling life to a million thoughts paralyzed or forgotten.
You gave me tears.
You gave me pain.
You closed me in my room.
You made me my chained prisoner.
You buried my creativity.
You blindfolded my expressions that once spurred my soul.
You bred on my fear for that idealistic future, which I have no control.

Within moments of your impulsive inception, I have held you close,
I thought you were part of me,
Fearing an identity crisis, I never let you loose.
Too late, I dint know you were just trying to feed on me,
Taking me down for your lingering crown.

Not anymore,

I will not drown myself in your deep emotional pool.
Buoyant self-awareness and I am no more your fuel.
I will detract your essence.
I will divert your presence.
I will get past your vicious influence.
You are not to be in my thoughts.
You are not to be in my actions.
Mindfulness and you are no more,
No more,
the abstract dictator with a mental roar.

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