The Fear of Never Being Good Enough
I can feel that familiar swell in the ocean
The water that’s calm one moment, yet raging the next
The rise of fear, quickly becomes a tsunami
With my inner demon riding on the wave crest
On the surface, nothing good can come out of this
The horrible sick-to-the-gut feeling can be paralysing
It can flood over you, without losing momentum
And it will come again and again uninvited
It’s that slap in the face that leaves a red tingly mark
A wound that stays with you for longer than you’d like
The terror of not having what it takes
The desire to be something more than who you are
But the shock is, it’s YOU cheating you
There is no better or worse
Just the present as it is
The YOU as you are
And to desire to be different
Is wasting who you ARE
Wasting your unique concoction
Squandering the precision of particles
That make you WHO you ARE
There’s a force in the hold of fear
She grips you like a vice
But don’t mistake her protection for safety
It’s an empty promise of a false freedom
A blanket that smothers
A warmth that can suffocate
A tenderness that can lull
A lump that turns malignant.
