The Guilt Part 2

The guilt of grief
The grief of guilt
Kills me from within
Tears me apart
But Alas
The guilt of being disloyal to my life
Is the most ferocious of them all

Stuck in medley of conflicting emotions
My heart ceases to comprehend
I love her not, I love her not
I fool my heart with this thought
To this date, I swear I pretend to hate
I become numb, I act dumb
This deafening noise behind the ostensible silence
At times is beyond my control
I know I’m wrong and yet I go ahead
Every single time
And commit this wrong

Now that I’m here, I can’t be there
I know she would understand
Understand the burden of this guilt
The grief within that my heart builds
Everytime I pick up the phone
Everytime I dial the number
Everytime the call connects
Everytime I hear her voice
Everytime I say goodbye
Within me is lost a part forever.

“When does this all end? “ says my baffled mind
The darkness, the hole inside her
Pulls the part of her in you
Towards herself
Once you give her back
Every ounce of her in your heart
Your body and your soul would be freed
Freed of the curse
The curse of the guilt
The curse of the grief

The real love of the placid heart
Will drain with every call
Till there is absolute dark
Till she erases her every mark
Love will die a slow death
The treasured would become unloved
And with it would be wiped
The remnants of this doleful guilt