Thinwise Poem

Don’t ever stop talking, at all, not even ever.
You can’t let bad luck get in thinwise.
Never shut up, even if there’s an emergency;
it’s the best way to look like a fortuneteller — competent.

Why isn’t it Labor Day yet, the communist birthday,
the Quinceanera for the conquest of bread?
If it were, we could bust out the Sea-Doos
and throw wakes at some UFC bros.

You burned a bunch of herbs on my phone
to make her break up with me,
but you did it wrong, and now she’s a lesbian,
which is really worse for me in the end.

The Halloween decorations are creeping out on shelves,
so I know what I’m getting for my bar mitzvah.