To the Moon & Back
I was born as the sun
Was setting in the west,
Sinking behind the purple Rocky Mountains.
And the moon came out to play,
Lighting up the night sky,
Amidst the twinkling stars and swirling galaxies
As if to welcome me, another Moon,
Into this cruel, harsh world.
I grew up a good Catholic girl,
God-fearing and afraid
Sunday after Sunday after Sunday after Sunday.
Communion wafers and wine,
Burning my throat more and more,
With each passing week.
With each passing year,
My belief in Him continued to wane.
Who was this supposed God,
This omnipotent, all powerful entity,
That allowed so much suffering in the world?
I never felt His presence,
I never saw His so-called miracles,
As every drop of faith
Evaporated from my heart and mind.
I believe in what you can see,
What exists right in front of my eyes.
How do you believe in something
That you cannot see, hear, or feel?
My brain cracked
Like the thin shell of an egg,
And my heart and soul
Became as cold and empty
Like the vast reaches of space.
But then, half a lifetime later,
I remembered a boy
With a million-watt smile
Who pulled me back like the tides.
What was this feeling
Filling up the emptiness in my chest?
And now he’s filled up,
My bullet-riddled heart,
From all the loss and pain in this world.
My first miracle.
I’d never felt religion,
I’d never believed in God.
I’d never understood faith,
Until I heard his voice again.
But now I know,
This is what faith feels like.