TrumPooning Tunes
Trump Newtered on Ethics
Inspired by Dolly Parton’s “9 to 5”! (Play it — Sing it)
Tumbling in the polls so I pitched “swamp draining”
Threaten lobbyists while you’re out campaigning
Trump reported, “Newt, my rally’s came to life”
I knew ethics issues rile honest voters
“Congress, hit them too, they’re shameless promoters”
I should know, like Trump, I’m on my third wife
Speaker of the House, what a way to make a livin’
Barely gettin’ by, ‘less you’re takin’ what they’re givin’
Though you take their coin, lobbyists you can discredit
If the Ethics Office makes requests, tell them “forget it”
Speaker of the House, yes, I got a minor sanction
Got to keep my job, no worse than Callista’s spankin’
Now I work for Fox, I promote conspir’cy theory
I’m so good at it, even Hannity gets teary
Let voters dream, then watch their dreams shatter
They’re just a step on your “Trump U” fraud ladder
But you got dreams they’ll never take away
You’re pursuing wealth like your Cabinet friends
Not much longer ‘till your ship comes in
With Paul Ryan’s help it’s all gonna roll your way
Speaker of the House, what a way to make a livin’
No backbone required, make sure Paul knows no forgivin’
Kill Obama Care, or you make sure he regrets it
If not, his defeat, if you win, then it’s your credit
Speaker of the House, if not Paul then go McCarthy
Thinks you’re paid by Vlad, but he’ll take one for the party
It’s a rich man’s game, don’t let ethics stall your progress
Just push back, fake news, and I know you won’t confess
Then Major’ty Leader, Mitch, your bitch, will do your bidding
He’s no principles, tells the press your tweets are kidding
He is slow but sure, he’s the turtle, you’re the hair
Pushed your Cabinet and SCOTUS, and he had some votes to spare
Ethics 9 to 5, only need to give lip service
Your’s the better life, and no need for gettin’ nervous
It’s a rich man’s game, and you know that you’re the master
Like the wife, sued you, but you knew you could outlast her
Ethics 9 to 5, Screw ’em 5 to 9, …
©2017 HHThorpe
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