Why I Don’t Do Adderall Anymore

I remember the hate,

I remember how it oozed out of every pore of my body,

And as the speed took a hold of my brain, pupils, and heart,

I remember the walls shrinking,

How they suffocated me,

And nothing was right,

But nothing was wrong,

And the hate kept coming,

And I shoved it way down,

A trash compactor simply out of room,

And I began to crack,

My skin tore open,

My body the flame,

“Happy birthday,” they said,

As I crumbled to ash,

Twisting and contorting to get away from myself,

“We’ve bought you these things,

And though we can’t tell you the name of the last girl you dated,

Or a single of your ambitions,

We’ve manifested our love in things,”

And I lay there that night,

My body sizzled, embers burning out,

Having pissed out the speed,

My heart came back to me,

And all I was left with were things.