Will Someone Please Buy Me A Beer?

Listen up, folks, It’s important that you hear,
My feet hurt, my back is sore, I’m broke,
I haven’t even killed anyone all day,
Will someone please buy me a beer?

I woke up this morning with a lot on my mind,
The world news is frightening, The TV is trembling,
My nerves are stressed, I’m knotted up to my shoestrings,
Will someone please buy me a Shoenling’s Little King?

Went to the country and the bullets rang out,
Went to the city and the bullets rang out,
Went to church, school, shopping, hiking and the bullets rang out,
Will someone please buy me a beer?

The bad guys blew this all out of proportion,
Sometimes it seems like the good guy is hard to find,
Sometimes this evil terror just blows my mind!
Will someone just please buy me a beer?

To keep me on my steady, ready and able,
To keep my mind sharp, my stance strong, stable,
I need to see it before me, on the table, Can you hear?
Will someone please buy me a beer?