10 Red Flags to Watch Out for in Seemingly Friendly and Polite People

Saurabh Suman
Poise & Perspective
2 min readJan 7, 2023

Wondering if that seemingly friendly and polite person might actually be a bad egg? Here are some red flags to look out for:

  1. The manipulators: These people love doing things for you that you never asked for, but only because they want something in return. If they get upset when you don’t return the favor, it’s a major sign that they’re not really your friend.
  2. The egotists: Keep an eye on how someone talks about themselves and others. If they’re always comparing themselves to others and boasting about their own achievements, they might not be the most empathetic person out there.
  3. The pushy ones: If someone is trying to get way too close to you way too fast, it might be worth taking a step back. Genuine people take the time to get to know you and read your cues before diving in headfirst.
  4. The blamers: If there’s a problem, do they look for solutions or just try to pin the blame on someone else? If it’s the latter, it might be time to reconsider your relationship with this person.
  5. The blabbermouths: If you confide in someone and they immediately spill the beans to someone else, they clearly can’t be trusted.
  6. The inauthentic empathizers: If someone seems to take pity on you or treats your struggles like a show, they might not really care about you. They could just be using your problems as a way to feel superior.
  7. The self-proclaimed saints: If someone is constantly reassuring you that they’re a “good person,” it might be a sign that they’re trying to cover up something. Genuinely good people don’t feel the need to constantly prove it to others.
  8. The group planners: Pay attention to how someone acts when they have power over a situation or group. Do they consider other people’s needs and limitations, or do they only think about themselves? If it’s the latter, they might not be the most considerate person.
  9. The jealous ones: A little jealousy is normal, but how someone reacts to it can be telling. If they gossip, belittle, or question the abilities of those they’re jealous of, or if they feel entitled to information about your life, it’s a sign that they might not have your best interests at heart.
  10. The weird vibers: Sometimes you just get a weird vibe from someone. Trust your instincts and pay attention to any red flags that come up.

Remember, not every one of these behaviors necessarily means someone is a bad person, but they could be worth keeping an eye on to protect yourself and make informed decisions about your relationships.

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Saurabh Suman
Poise & Perspective

I delve into the complexities of relationships, self care, and mental health with grace and thoughtfulness, empowering others to live their best lives.