SHAWN THEW/EPA/SHUTTERSTOCK/WSJ.COM

Other reasons DC shouldn’t be a state

Our national capital is un-American

Jeffrey Denny

With Democrats briefly in charge of the White House and Congress, they’re rushing through their radical liberal wish list.

Open borders? Check. Free college and healthcare? Check. Welfare for All, Green New Deal, canceling freedom starting with hate speech and assault weapons? Check, check and check. Making America Socialist? Working on it.

Next up: DC Statehood.

The crazy left wing wants to grant some 700,000 Americans in Washington — roughly the number in Alaska, North Dakota, Vermont and Wyoming — full representation to go along with taxation. Just like what the 1773 Boston Tea Party and crazy right-wing Tea Party movement were about.

But to Republicans, DC Statehood is a nefarious power grab to install two Democrats in the Senate. No, it’s not about how DC is nearly half Black. So no, it’s not about denying Black people full human and citizen rights like over the past four centuries. How dare you make this racial and try to cancel us?

Pity the Republicans. They can’t come right out and admit they hate voting rights and democracy because if they can’t rig elections with voter suppression spun as election integrity plus gerrymandering and other fraud, they lose. America’s evolving demographics say white Republicans can’t win without cheating.

So please send thoughts and prayers:

Anti-statehood Republicans are flop-sweating, spit-balling, work-shopping and message-testing all manner of rationalizations for their mash-up coalition of the rich they succor and the rubes they sucker:

· Washingtonians “already impact the national debate” because Congressmen see our yard signs while they drive to work (Heritage Foundation’s Zach Smith).

· Washington doesn’t have a landfill, airport or car dealership — Rep. Jody Hice (White-GA).

· Washington has insufficient manufacturing, agriculture, mining and drilling — Rep. Glenn Grothman (White-WI).

· Washingtonians thus “have no source of income”–Rep. Ralph Norman (White-SC). (Note: DC metro median income is $105,000 versus $27,000 in South Carolina.)

· Washington can’t run itself, unlike the Wall Street Journal’s list of worst-run states that include Republican-led Arkansas, Alaska, Louisiana, Mississippi and West Virginia. Among other measures, they lack DC’s triple-A bond rating indicating superior fiscal management and health.

· Washington’s geographic proximity to government gives us too much power, our Founding Fathers said, according to fake history. This was before the telegraph, telephone, rail and air travel, the internets and Covid Zooming that rendered physical location virtually meaningless.

Plus, residents of Paris, Rome and other capitals of Western democracies have full enfranchisement; why can’t Washingtonians?

Here’s why: DC statehood isn’t about rights. It’s “a key part of the radical leftist agenda to reshape America, along with the Green New Deal, defunding the police and packing the Supreme Court.” — Rep. James Comer (White-KY).

If stupid-heads need more reasons to oppose DC statehood, here are a few:

DC is too dangerous

Setting aside how Republicans helped “bad people with guns” get guns by overturning DC’s strict gun laws in the landmark SCOTUS Second Amendment Heller decision, our sashimi has to travel a loooooong way to get to our plates unlike in Republican coastal states.

And if you accidentally park illegally because the signs are confusing, the DC parking police are authorized to shut off their body cams, suffocate you with a neck-hold, and/or shoot to kill. Especially if you’re White.

Beware, tourists from Trump America who hate Washington but love to tour Washington! Best to stay away. You’re irritating.

DC is too expensive

While many Republican Congressmen are rich as Croesus back home where $1 million buys you a Michael Jackson mansion, in DC their $174,000 salaries barely affords them a one-bedroom unit somewhat near Congress.

That is, if they don’t terribly mind living in a “diverse” neighborhood. Most may terribly mind.

DC hates Christian values

While the National Gallery’s 2010 “Hide/Seek” exhibit that “explored the fluidity of sexuality and gender” is long gone, we still have plenty of LGBTQIA+ paintings, sculpture and multimedia installations that defy and challenge traditional Christian mores.

Not unlike a certain ex-president and his mega-church evangelical pastors, many disgraced for their lust and greed, who proverbially washed his feet with their hair.

DC streets make no sense

After 35 years here, I still need to call on my Apple Maps voice navigator to get around. I love her saucy attitude. She seems to roll her eyes as I ignore her directions and get lost and she patiently redirects.

I respect her plight. DC is neither a grid nor the sensible Parisian layout that designer Pierre L’Enfant drew up. Streets start and end and start up again and end again, ad nauseam, ad screaming behind the wheel.

And like the U2/Bono song goes, the streets have no names. Or names you can see while lost driving, since the street signs are tiny and often missing just to screw with our millions of tourists. Which pleases me.

DC fumbled the Covid vax rollout

At launch, the city made seniors get on the internets at 9 am to log onto the vaccine site, decode the reCAPTCHA squiggles, and try to book shots, only to find the limited number were gone. Often because people who live outside DC but work here got the first shots.

Then White seniors in wealthier wards were accused of “vaccine tourism,” taking shots away from poorer Black communities.

This gives Republicans even more grist that DC isn’t ready to be a real state, unlike Republican-run states such as Alabama that screwed up the vaccine rollout.

DC hates freedom

Even worse than the heavily armed pink hat feminazis, BLM, Antifa, LGBTQIA+ and other Socialist protestors that burned down the city, the January 6 peaceful violent racist patriot U.S Capitol invasion/insurrection/desecration that never happened proved Washington can’t handle it when Americans come here to express their freedom.

No Cracker Barrel

This is not America.

Jeffrey Denny is a Washington writer.

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